I allowed my sister Anna to stay with us while she attended university. In exchange, we agreed she’d contribute $500 each month.
This covers her living expenses, utilities, and food, which I think is quite reasonable. Additionally, she helps out with household chores and our two kids. We even documented our agreement to avoid any misunderstandings.
Based on my understanding, shared accommodation at Anna’s school costs around $1,200 monthly, only available during the 8 months of school.
So, staying with us costs her $6,000 a year, compared to $9,600 for 8 months at school and 4 months with our mom and stepdad. This arrangement worked smoothly for two years. She’s a diligent student and a wonderful person.
Recently, Anna and I had a major disagreement where I feel she’s completely in the wrong. Unfortunately, our parents are siding with her, which is frustrating.
The issue arose because Anna now has a serious boyfriend, and naturally, she wants to spend more time with him, which I understand. However, she’s also started to complain about babysitting the kids every other Saturday night so my husband and I can have a date night. This caused a significant rift between us.
Since we have our agreement and Anna’s still in university, I insisted she stick to it. I even offered to find a babysitter myself, but I made it clear she’d have to cover the cost since she was originally supposed to watch the kids. Now Anna’s upset with me, claiming that paying the babysitter is eating into all her earnings.
Anna got really upset with me after I made my suggestion. She felt like I was taking advantage of her. She was furious and declared that she’d rather stay on her university campus next year. I calmly told her that it sounded like a great idea and assured her it wouldn’t be an issue for me. Plus, I mentioned how I’d regain my hobby room once she moved out.
I faced criticism from all sides of my family. My parents phoned me and insisted that Anna shouldn’t be treated like an unpaid nanny.
They stressed the importance of sibling support without any financial expectations. My mom even went as far as demanding that Anna live in our house rent-free, claiming I shouldn’t interfere with her finances. Despite explaining our agreement, they remained adamant.
When I mentioned Anna’s plan to move to campus next semester, my mom became furious, threatening to sever ties with me. When I returned home, I found Anna packing without a word about where she’d stay. She accused me of being unfair, arguing that increased expenses and time away from her job and boyfriend were harsh. I’m torn because I believe our agreement was reasonable.